Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Blog #13: Script Reflection


When I first heard about the script frenzy project I thought it would be really interesting and fun to do. I had never thought about trying to write a script before especially not in thirty days. It seemed like a cool thing to know how to write. I was excited to start working on it although I found the idea of having only thirty days to write a little difficult to manage.

            Now that the project is over, I felt like I grew tired of it sometime during the middle. Erin and I were starting to lose interest in the script and it was becoming difficult to write. Even though I liked the idea of writing a script, I also wish we could have done other things too instead of spending most of the semester working on it. For example, I wanted to do poetry or short stories and improve my skills in writing those types of things.

            While we were planning the script, I found that the character description pages were really helpful because it laid out so many aspects of the characters and made it easier to develop a clear, 3-dimensional character. I also thought that the pages helping with dialogue helped me understand what to include in our dialogue. It pointed out how dialogue should be able to move the story along, develop the characters and reveal things to the audience.

            After taking on this project I learned that I have difficulty working under time constraints. The thirty day time limit really seemed to slow my thought process because I was too worried about making the deadline. I usually take a while to sort out my thoughts and develop them into a story or even to plan out one.

            Our final script has about twenty two pages and it isn’t completely finished yet. We only managed to get through about 10-15% of the storyline that we had in mind. I feel like we could have managed our time better since we didn’t have a set schedule of how much we should write every day. We merely just started writing at the start of class and then stopped when class was over. Sometimes we wrote a lot and other times we hit a few bumps and didn’t write as much as we would have liked to.

            I think that the strengths of our script are our usage of dialogue to really show the characters’ personalities. Each character has their own distinct personality that is expressed in what they say and do towards one another. For example, our main character is Gabriela who is a very strong protagonist.  She is rebellious and sarcastic which is demonstrated through her witty comebacks and insults she throws at everyone.

            One thing that our script was lacking was description and action. We didn’t include nearly enough description then we should have. I think that our script was 90% dialogue when there should have been a balance between the two. I think if we had more time we could have developed a clear depiction of all the settings that our characters were in like how the school looked like or what each classroom was like.

Blog #12: Scene Reflection


For this scene, the main character Gabriela is late for class. She rushes in and her teacher is definitely unhappy with her. Gabriela acts as snarky as ever and takes her seat without a care in the world. Her friend, Logan, wants to know the real reason why she is late. They end up in a tiny argument and Gabriela storms out of the room at the end of the scene.

            I believe that the better part of this scene was the characterization of Gabriela through dialogue. It’s easy to see Gabriela’s personality by the way she speaks to her teacher, Mrs. Nelson, and Logan. Another thing that makes this scene more appealing is just Gabriela’s strong character. As the protagonist, she is tough and doesn’t back down. Another strength in the scene was how we transitioned into Gabriela’s dream sequence. It changed up the mood of the scene smoothly and was important to the development of the story.

            The weak part of this scene would be Logan’s characterization. I think that we didn’t show his personality well enough in the dialogue and it made him seem like a flat 2-dimensional character rather than a 3-dimensional one. I also think that we could have had more description and action during the scene instead of mainly dialogue.

            If we had more time to work on this scene and improve it, I think we would have added in more description. Since a movie is mostly visual, there needs to be a lot of description in the script but we didn’t add any and made it mostly dialogue.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Blog #11: Dialogue + Action/Description

INT. DINER – NIGHT
RICKY bounds over and hugs MINA tightly as they walk into the DINER with GABY and LOGAN. GABY and LOGAN roll their eyes and they all go to a BOOTH.
RICKY
Mina! I missed you so much!
MINA
Ugh, Ricky. We saw each other a few hours ago. Now stop clinging onto me.
RICKY
You didn’t miss me?
MINA
Of course I missed you.
RICKY
Are you being sarcastic? It sounds like you are.
MINA
No, why would you ever think I was being sarcastic? Don’t you know me?
GABY chuckles while LOGAN smirks. They stand beside the BOOTH, watching MINA and RICKY with amused expressions on their faces.
RICKY
Mina, stop using sarcasm! I don’t like it.
MINA
Oh really? I thought you loved it.
RICKY crosses his arm and pouts. LOGAN and GABY take their seats at the BOOTH and try to ignore the bickering couple.
RICKY
You’re so mean.
MINA
I’m sorry. I just love messing around with you.
MINA attempts to hug RICKY but he ducks out of the way.
RICKY
No, your apology is not accepted.
MINA
That’s fine by me. I’ll just sit by Logan. Maybe we can get closer.
MINA begins to take a seat beside LOGAN but RICKY quickly sits down before her.
RICKY
No! I mean, uh. I’ll sit by Logan. You can’t go anywhere near another guy.
MINA pinches RICKY’S cheeks, smiling and cooing as if she is talking to a baby before sitting beside GABY.
MINA
Sure thing, Mr. Chipmunk Cheeks.
RICKY’S face turns red in embarrassment as GABY, LOGAN, and MINA all laugh.
RICKY
Aww, don’t start teasing me about my cheeks again! I’m not a baby!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Blog #10 Dialogue That Defines Relationships

RICKY
Mina! I missed you so much!
MINA
Ugh, Ricky. We saw each other a few hours ago. Now stop clinging onto me.
RICKY
You didn’t miss me?
MINA
Of course I missed you.
RICKY
Are you being sarcastic? It sounds like you are.
MINA
No, why would you ever think I was being sarcastic? Don’t you know me?
RICKY
Mina, stop using sarcasm! I don’t like it.
MINA
Oh really? I thought you loved it.
RICKY
You’re so mean.
MINA
I’m sorry. I just love messing around with you.
RICKY
No, your apology is not accepted.
MINA
That’s fine by me. I’ll just sit by Logan. Maybe we can get closer.
RICKY
No! I mean, uh. I’ll sit by Logan. You can’t go anywhere near another guy.
MINA
Sure thing, Mr. Chipmunk Cheeks.
RICKY
Aww, don’t start teasing me about my cheeks again!

Blog #9: Dialogue that Moves the Story Forward

Dialogue that moves the story forward: MR ROSS Why, it's a pleasure to meet you, little lady. GABRIELA (scowling) Can't say the same about you, ass. MR ROSS Now, now, young lady. That tone of your is not tolerated, considering the actions of your crime. GABRIELA Crime? Pff, please! Just because I was studying for school. I never thought I could be arrested for that. MR ROSS (pauses and continues, pacing around her) You seem oblivious by these chains of events. Would you rather look past these actions and let me just release as of the whole ordeal never happened? GABRIELA (frowning) Well. . .yeah, actually. MR ROSS I see. But you should know Ms Vendez that this action can not be simply overlooked. You may think I'm paranoid about your past actions, but this matter is far worse then you actually think. MR ROSS (continuing) I do hope you drag anyone into this mess, young lady. It'll be ashamed if anyone else was to be hurt.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Blog #8: Dialogue

Three important things about creating effective dialogue:
-It is important for the dialogue to sound "real" and for it to flow. You don't want the dialogue to sound stiff. Think about how real people talk and the rhythm with which they speak to write effective dialogue.

-Each character should sound different from one another in order to differentiate between them. They shouldn't sound like the writer and they need their own identity. Getting the right feeling for a characters speech can show the reader how they were raised and what they feel.

-Learn who your characters are in order to nail their speech. If you can understand your characters personality and how they would act in different situations then you can hear what they would say in your mind.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Blog #7: The "Hollywood Formula"

Erin Chmiel and Tanya Sonthana
Inciting Incident: Gabriela is caught by school security. She attempts to break her bindings but it doesn't work. She is then interrupted by Logan voice above her. He see her down the vent and scolds her for leaving class and being put in this situation. She promises to explain why if he helps her. Logan agrees to help her and momentarily leaves the vent, promising to come back soon. After a few minutes, Gaby begins to worry whether Logan had abandoned her or not. However, she hears his voice above her once again and looks up to find him grinning slyly with keys he had stolen from the security. Finding a way to pry open the vent, Logan drops down into the room and release Gaby of her bindings. The two then begin to go back up into the vent yet the door opens to reveal the security guards coming to interrogate her. Panicking, the pair try to scramble up into the vent to no avail. Realizing that there is no way to get up fast enough, the two of them overpower the security guard and race back home as quickly as possible. The security guard doesn't pursue them but makes sure to tell the others to be wary of Gaby and Logan.
Having Fun and Getting to Know Your Characters: After the event of Gaby's capture by the security guard and Logan's successful attempt at busting her out, Mina and Ricky decide to take the two out to a diner in order to help them relax and forget about any issues. At first, the dinner starts out quite normally with the usual jokes and conversation. Here, you can see the relationships between the characters. Mina and Ricky are seen as the peaceful, yet doting couple. (Well, at least Ricky dotes on Mina) Ricky and Logan are the boys of the group so they obviously act differently with one another than they do with the girls. They have their own little competitions and whatnot. Also, another main point in the relationship is the teasing. Ricky is teased mercilessly for his "baby" cheeks. Mina is teased for being too tall. And so on and so forth.
Then, the atmosphere at the table changes when Mina notices Gaby's drawing sticking out of her bag. Curiously, she takes it out and examines it. Immediately, Mina is awed by the drawing and she finds herself drawn to it. The drawing inspires her to make designs that embodied what Gaby has drawn. Gaby spots her and snatches it away. In spite of everything somewhat going back to normal, Gaby shies away from questions asked by her friends about earlier. She bursts suddenly, now asking them if they ever feel like the society they live in is commercialized or fake. By that point it gets tense when the police walk by the window and decide to leave. Unfortunately, a little later in the story, the government sees Mina's fashion designs and instantly deem them dangerous. They plan to take the designs away for fear that other people will see them and wonder about the look of them.
Opening Scene: The beginning of the film starts with very bright lights, a ringing sound too. Bits of it give away showing the camera leading us into a forest. Piano overture (?). Reveals production and title and actors, etc as the camera moves around the forest and the brook. It then stops and pans wide when the camera ends at the edge of the forest and gives us a view of the meadow.

Blog#6: The Outline

Tanya Sonthana and Erin Chmiel
1.) Blinding light. Fades at parts to show meadow and the sound of the morning, unfamiliar to most people. Flashes brightly and goes into darkness. Sound of an alarm clock buzzing. A tan hand reaches to turn it off. Bed rustles and settle down for a few seconds.
A voice of a male stops the silence as he tells the figure in bed to wake up. You hear a groan and follow the boy to the bed to see him throw off the covers to see a girl, looking like a mess and covering her head. He convinces her to get up because they have school. She obliges as he exits. Sitting up, she flicks a switch that activates her room (blinds open, blue and neon lights lit up the room, and her monitor wakes to tell her about her day.
2. Describe your inciting incident: It’s a typical day at school. Gabriela and Logan attend their classes like usual although Gaby seems to be even more distracted by her dream. She has a sketch of the field she saw in her dream and she touches up on it during her astronomy class. Logan sees it and asks her what the drawing is. Her teacher interrupts their conversation by asking Logan to answer a problem. Gaby answers it instead and then begins to interrogate the teacher by asking her if there are subjects that are not allowed to be taught in school. In the end, the teacher shows no sign of giving her answers so Gaby leaves to go find the answers on her own.
3.)~Goes to library to find answers, gaining attention from others. Once finding information, she is led away by an unknown security guard. Possible chase scene?
~Logan busts her out, breaks from school security and is taken home by Ricky and Mina (cheered up by them?)
~Goes to inner city diner by subway with friends, runs into bad school guys (?)
~Sneaks out of house and tries to leave town to the outland. Chase scenes, scary moments
~Fight with main security
~Caught by police at final destination
4.) In an attempt to figure out the mystery of her dream and to see what the morning looks like, Gaby sneaks out of the house and goes past neighborhood security. At some point in her escape, she is seen and a chase scene occurs. She makes her way to Mina's house without getting caught and Mina helps her by creating a disguise. Using the disguise, Gaby continues her journey.Meanwhile, Logan asks Mina why isn't Gaby answering her phone. After some serious questioning, she explains what's going on. Logan and Ricky then try to stop her but she doesn't obey. Asking for help, Logan and Ricky help her make it to the outskirts of town taking a car. Chase scene.
5.) Government security now intervenes and corners her. She is led away by the head of Secret Services and taken in for questioning and bail. They decide if her memory should be erased/brainwashed along with her friends. But her father comes in and asks to oppress all charges because of a supposed past deal. The man obliges reluctantly and Gaby is taken home along with her friends.
6.) It is here all the truth is revealed. Her father explains everything to her: When she was born, she was accidentally exposed to the sun, giving her a sunburn on her shoulder. The government wanted to dispose of her because she may have memory of it and could get curious. But her father makes a deal with them to only erase the memories of all those involved with the escape, i.e Gaby, Logan, and Ricky. Nothing happens to Mina because she was not with them during the escape. However, she gets rid of her designs that had been based on Gaby's drawing and Gaby's drawing is also destroyed in order for this to never happen again. It only lives now in her memories. Her father also explains that the government is also scared to go back to their old ways, before the apocolypic in 2012. They wanted to start and give them the assumption that the sun poisons them and hurts the human spirit. The last shot is the two of them watching the sun coming up over the horizon over the meadow. END

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Blog #5 The Logline (Revised)

In a nocturnal, post-apocalyptic world, a rebellious teenage girl goes against the controversial, censored government to see what's beyond the nighttime life when everyone is asleep.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Blog #4- The Logline

In a nocturnal, post-apocalyptical world, a rebellious teenage girl goes against the suppressive, censoring government and escapes the normal nightime life while everyone is asleep.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Blog #3: 6-Word Memoirs that I like

1. Turned my struggle into my song.
-I like this memoir a lot because it really speaks to me. I encounter many struggles in my life and I usually turn them into a song as a way to express what I'm feeling.
2. I'm small. Do you notice me?
-This memoir spoke to me because I'm an introvert. I am a little on the short side and I'm shy which makes it that much harder for people to notice me sometimes. I always feel a little disappointed when people don't take notice of me and I envy people who are outgoing.
3. Sibling love is like no other.
-I have two older brothers which made this memoir stand out to me right away when I saw it. I love my brothers no matter what, even if they annoy me and tease me almost all the time. I think that sibling love is definitely something that is unique from other types of love, it is irreplaceable.
4. Live simply. Be me. Find happiness.
-This memoir made me think for a moment. It made me think about who I really am and whether or not I let people around me affect who I am. It also opened up the idea of living simply to me rather than struggling too hard to get the "perfect" life.
5. Love forever. Laugh often. Try harder.
-I think this memoir might be in my top two favorites because it's similar to the way I think. Just reading the memoir made me feel a little happier and gave me a little more courage to try harder to be happy.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Blog #2 Goals

This semester I want to work on variety and thoughtfulness. I think that I need to expand my vocabulary and write in styles that I've never tried before. The types of tones or styles that I usually write in are serious and funny. What I want to do and learn this semester are new tones that will help to add more color to my writing. To expand my vocabulary I think that I will be more aware while I'm reading and write down new and interesting words so that I can use them in my own pieces. I think that a way to help me write in a variety of tones would be to write from different perspectives. For example, instead of writing a story in a way that I would do things, I could try writing in the point of view of a twenty year old man, a middle aged woman, or anything other than my own teenage mind.

Thoughtfulness is also one of the things I want to improve on this semester. I think that one of the aspects of thoughtfulness is being able to portray emotions and feelings to the reader. One of the strategies I definitely think I should improve that would help with that is showing rather than telling. Instead of 'telling' I need to create an image for the reader and 'show' them what I'm talking about. I once read somewhere that using different senses to describe something can make a story more interesting. For example, rather than using smell to describe what something smells like, using taste might make it stick out more to the reader. 

Monday, February 13, 2012

Blog #1: Welcome to my Blog!

Hello and welcome to my Creative Writing blog! What's this blog about? It is for a creative writing class and it is a place where I can show my writing to the world. Here, you will see a variety of creative writing pieces that I will be posting. It could be a poem, song lyrics, or maybe even a short story.

So..who am I? I'm just a girl that loves writing. I write every day whether I'm writing in a notebook or I'm typing on a Word document. However, writing isn't the only thing I love. I'm obsessed with the color orange. I also love animals, my top two favorite animals being dogs and panda bears. I'm a cross country skier although I wouldn't say that I'm an expert... I guess falling on my face definitely wouldn't count as "pro" skiing, right? Not only can I fall on my face while skiing though, I can also trip over nothing! Yeah, I'm a pretty clumsy person sometimes (or all the time). I am Laotian, my parents are from a country called Laos (It's in Southeast Asia, in between Thailand and Vietnam). I can basically understand most of the language when my parents speak to me. I'll teach you a word! Sabaidee! That means "hello" or "how are you?" depending on the tone you use to say it. Well, enough about me, let's get to a topic that's more relevant.

Let's see..things that inspire me to write? I would say that music is a big part of it. Just plugging in the ear buds and closing my eyes sends me into another world where all my thoughts and feelings become clear. I don't even have to understand the lyrics to get inspiration from the music though. Since more than half of the songs on my Ipod are in another language.. I'd say that 85% of the songs that you would encounter on my Ipod are in Korean (K-pop, look it up! It's amazing! ^_^). Anyways, I kind of got off topic since I'm supposed to be talking about my inspirations. I think that everything inspires me to write. Just thinking about all the emotions that I'm feeling allows me to pick out ideas for a poem or a song that I write.

Okay, I think I let this rambling go on for too long. I'll end this welcome post quickly and painlessly. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you will enjoy my future posts!